(EMPEROR
enters. He is sleepwalking with his eyes closed and arms
extended. PETER quickly runs to hide behind an audience member.)
EMPEROR:
(Having a bad dream.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
No! No! Noooooo! It's not true! I am the Imperial
Emperor! How dare you imply that I am not fit! No!
No! It's not true!
(While
EMPEROR babbles on, arms flailing, PETER gets a little braver as he
realizes the EMPEROR is sleeping. EMPEROR can ad-lib here as
much as needed. "How dare you say I'm not fit!"
PETER goes up to him, circles around and finally waves
his hand in front of face. PETER enjoys himself and gets
an idea.)
I am a good
Emperor. I am a good Emperor. My father and his father
before him and his father before him have ruled the Empire!
It's not true! It's not true!
(EMPRESS enters.)
EMPRESS:
Oh, dear. (Runs to him.) Your Majesty! Your
Majesty. (Pats his cheek.) Wake up!
(Pats a
little harder, still nothing. Pats very hard, arm
extended. Delivers a fake blow punctuated with cymbal from
ORCHESTRA. This blow should look obviously fake with her arm
and hand coming no where near his head.)
WAKE UP!
EMPEROR:
(Dazed.) Huh?
EMPRESS:
Dear, you're having another one of your nightmares.
EMPEROR: NO!
(Wakes,
still half dreaming. He is excited, trembling, out of breath,
clings to EMPRESS.)
EMPRESS:
There, there now, that's a good little Emperor. Did we have a
nasty old dream?
EMPEROR: (Whimpers.)
Uh-huh.
EMPRESS:
Did the little itty bitty Emperor have a bad old dream?
(She
comforts, then calls.)
Mirror!
Mirror! Someone bring the Emperor his mirror! Quick!
(No one
comes, she sees PETER.)
Well, don't
just stand there, young man, bring the Emperor his mirror. Now!
PETER:
Uh. Yes, sure. Your Majesty. Right away, your majesty.
(PETER looks
around, cannot find a mirror.)
EMPRESS:
(Snapping fingers.) Quickly, quickly.
(Finally
PETER mimes carrying a mirror before the EMPEROR and becomes the
mirror himself, standing before him, "mirroring" his actions.)
There now,
here's your nice mirror.
(EMPEROR has
hands over eyes and peeks between his fingers to see himself in the
mirror, PETER also peeks between his fingers and continues to do
exactly what EMPEROR does.)
See how nice we
look in the mirror?
(The sight
of his image helps EMPEROR to recover and he begins to stand taller
and with more confidence.)
EMPEROR:
Uh-huh. (Turns to admire self.)
EMPRESS:
See now, there's nothing to be afraid of.
(EMPEROR
performs before the mirror now, getting cocky, struts and poses.)
EMPEROR:
Yes, you're right, of course. Such a silly dream. Hah!
Who could I ever dream that I am unfit to rule?
EMPRESS:
You? Unfit! Don't make me laugh.
EMPEROR:
Just look! Why, I am the perfect specimen of a ruler.
(He
gestures, poses, as PETER mirrors him.)
And just look
how splendid my costuming is. Ah! This mirror tells me so much!
EMPRESS:
(Humoring.) It tells you things, dear?
EMPEROR:
For instance, if I wear a blue jacket and it happens to match the
color of my eyes that day, then I know that it is the day I should
raise taxes.
EMPRESS:
You are a truly... inspired ruler, my dear.
EMPEROR:
I think I shall like to try the purple jacket now.
EMPRESS:
Oh, yes, the purple one. Dear, do you want the purple jacket
with the emerald collar or the one with the diamond buttons?
EMPEROR:
I believe I am in the mood for diamonds. (Flashes smile in the mirror.)
EMPRESS:
Yes, of course.
(She brings
it to him. She helps him put it on.)
Lovely, just lovely!
EMPEROR:
Yes, it is, isn't it?
EMPRESS:
You know, my dear, it is so splendid that I think that this is the
one you should wear in the royal procession next Saturday.
EMPEROR:
Yes, I think you might be right.
(PETER
breaks away from being the mirror. EMPEROR and
EMPRESS continue as if he has not moved, looking into mirror, both
with hands on chins, frowning as they consider. PETER stands
behind them, puts his hand on chin, frowns, looks into the
"mirror" considers, mimicking them. They stand in
this manner for a moment.)
PETER:
(Shaking head.) Oh, no. Huh-uh. That will
never do.
EMPEROR:
What? Who was that?
(They turn
to see PETER, who drops into a bow.)
PETER:
I am Peter, sir. Peter the Tailor, your majesty.
EMPEROR:
(Irritated.) How did you get in here?
EMPRESS:
Dear, it's all right. I let him in.
EMPEROR:
But I don't need another tailor.
PETER:
Oh, I think you do, sir.
EMPEROR:
(Taking offense.) You do, do you? And why is
that, young man?
PETER:
I couldn't help overhearing that you were planning to wear... (Shows
distaste.)... that... to your royal procession next Saturday.
EMPEROR:
Well, I was thinking about it...
PETER:
(Looking, examining.) Hmmm.
EMPEROR:
(Losing confidence.) What? What? Don't you
think it suits me?
PETER:
(Walking around, examining with distaste.) Hmmmm.
EMPEROR:
What? Doesn't it fit properly?
PETER:
Well, its just that...
EMPEROR:
You know, I was thinking that perhaps it was a little too... a
little too...
PETER:
Ordinary, sir?
EMPEROR:
Yes. Ordinary! Of course! My dear, bring me the
one with the emeralds!
PETER:
Oh, I don't think that will do either.
EMPEROR:
No. No, of course not. Emeralds are a little too...
too...
EMPRESS:
(Helping.) Flashy?
PETER:
No...
EMPEROR:
A little too...
PETER:
Ordinary.
EMPEROR:
Yes! Ordinary! Of course! (Thinks.) Now, see
here, young man. Just what do you consider extra-ordinary?
EMPRESS:
Your Highness, he says that he makes clothes that are...
(Together,
PETER making a grand gesture. Magical chimes from the ORCHESTRA.)
EMPRESS &
PETER: MAGIC!

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