MERLIN: Do you
think you might be up to just one more adventure for the day?
You have three choices left. Earth, Fire and Water.
ARTHUR: Well,
after what we just went through, I surely don't want to get involved
with any Fire. And Earth, well, Earth is just a lot of dirt, after
all, isn't it?
MERLIN: Choose.
ARTHUR: (Indifferent.)
Water, I choose Water.
MERLIN: Splendid.
(To audience.)
Consider the real magic of water.
(HE encourages participation.)
First, it rains.
(HE briskly rubs palms
together to indicate the sound of rain. HE may have to add [to
audience] "Can you do this?" The rain falls to earth and
makes a stream. HE snaps his fingers.)
The stream flows into a river.
(HE crosses arms over his
chest and quickly pats his upper arms.)
The river flows into the ocean.
(HE pounds his hands upon
his thighs.)
And crashes on the shore.
(HE pounds his thighs harder.)
Then the sun comes out and
draws the water to the sky.
(Hands and fingers move upwards.)
Until a big cloud is formed.
(Makes clouds above his
head with hands.)
Then down pours the rain...
(ALL rub hands briskly
together again.)
... which turns into a stream
and, in this case, flows into the moat of Sir Ector's castle.
Let's visit that old moat, shall we?
(SQUIRE 1 & 2 enter
with silks. THEY and MERLIN manipulate them to indicate a moat.)
Now, Arthur, take a deep
breath and hold your nose.
(ARTHUR jumps. THEY lift
silks, ARTHUR runs through, then right back out again.)
Jump, boy, jump!
(MUSIC CUE #4.
ARTHUR tries again, this time getting caught up in the whirling
silks. Then we hear odd, lilting music as ARTHUR enters another
element. Water background sound continues through this scene.)
ARTHUR: (Tries
to talk, but can only gulp.) Mer-glup-lin-glug! Blop! Blop!
MERLIN: Hold on,
lad. Wait for me. Don't float away.
(SQUIRE 1 & 2 stretch
silks across the stage. ARTHUR is caught between them. We see his
head, then his feet, and other ridiculous positions as he is swirled
about by the water.)
ARTHUR: Mer-glug! Lin-glug!
MERLIN: Now, now,
set yourself straight!
ARTHUR: I-glug,
can't-glug, glug, breathe-glug!
MERLIN: What's
that, boy?
ARTHUR: I-glug,
can't-glug, breathe-glug!
MERLIN: You must
speak slower, child. Fish talk is slower than human talk, you
know. Try again.
ARTHUR: Glug,
glug, glug!
MERLIN:
Enunciation, Arthur! It sounded like you said, "Glug,
glug, glug".
ARTHUR: (Frantic.)
Glug! Glug! Glug!
MERLIN: For
heaven's sake, stop breathing through your nose.
ARTHUR: Glug?
Glug? Glug?
MERLIN: The ears,
old boy, the ears! For heaven's sake, don't you know a blasted thing?
Breathe through your ears, Arthur!
ARTHUR: Glug? (Breathes,
as he stands among the swirling silks.) My-glug, ears-glug,
Merlin? Merlin! I'm breathing through my ears!
MERLIN: Yes, yes,
now come along.
(ARTHUR follows thoroughly
enjoying the breathing. SQUIRE 1 & 2 lay silks on the ground
diagonally across the stage and exit.)
The world is full of invisible
lines, Arthur. Do you know the borders of Sir Ector's castle?
ARTHUR: Of
course, everyone knows Sir Ector's property. It's two miles wide and
one mile deep and there's a big stone fence all around.
MERLIN: But I bet
you never guessed that there are kingdoms upon kingdoms within Sir
Ector's kingdom.
ARTHUR: What do
you mean?
MERLIN: (Indicating
silks.) Why, right here inside this moat, for example.
Everything on that side of the line belongs to the King Fish.
He's a Pike named Spike.
ARTHUR: Oh!
MERLIN: But
there's freedom on this side. Freedom, boy! Such a beautiful word!
(MERLIN grabs the silks and
moves them in a huge circle. KAI comes floating by - he's also a fish
who has not learned to breathe through his ears and is floating with
his cheeks puffed up. HE gets caught up in the silks.)
ARTHUR:
Merlin! Look, it's Kai! And he's a fish too!
MERLIN: Oh, dear.
He must have been swimming when we called the Water Magic.
Sometimes things get a bit jumbled.
ARTHUR: Close
your nose and open your ears. Breathe through your ears, Kai!
KAI: Glug?
(Breathes, then coughs and gulps.)
Hickkk! Arthur? Arthur? Is
that you? What's going on?
ARTHUR: Oh, Kai,
Kai, it's the real magic. Merlin did it! He turned us into fish. What
kind of fish are we. Merlin?
MERLIN: Carp.
ARTHUR:
Carp! We're carp, Kai! Isn't that wonderful?!
Note: This is a
sample from the actual script. To review the entire play, order
the PERUSAL SCRIPT (online instant download).