Why are all Shakespeare plays all named for men?
Yeah. Take "Macbeth" for instance. Its more about
Macbeths wife, isnt it?
And I suppose youd like something more politically correct?
Sure, why not? "Lady Macbeths Excellent Adventure."
It has a nice ring to it.
How about, "Mrs. Hamlet and Her Clinically Depressed Offspring"?
"How Cleopatra Got Her Groove Back."
"Little Sally Caesar Has a Really Bad Hair Day." (Quick
look to GLORIA, who boils.) Sorry.
You cant turn Shakespeare into a chick flick, Gloria. Face it,
women just arent as interesting as men.
Hey, Betsy. Werent you saying the other day youd like to
do something from "The Taming of the Shrew"?
BETSY: (Skeptical.) Yeah.
You up for Act Two, scene one?
I think so.
Great. Now were going to need a door for this scene.
finger at her.)
GLORIA near CENTER, then places her arms above her head to make an
arch. To GLORIA.)
Ah, ah, ah. There are no small parts...
...only small minds.
too, stage boy. This door is double hung.
MAXWELL to the side of GLORIA, then places MAXWELLS arms above
his head. They each make a side of a double door by standing with
their right shoulders touching, facing the STAGE or PLAYING AREA. )
the "door" that is MAXWELL and GLORIA. They swing forward
or backward to "open" and "close" like a saloon
door, spinning on their heals. JB "opens" and
"closes" it with a "skreeech," the sound of
creaky door hinges.)
Ill make you pay, my friend. Mark my words.
Places, everyone! Pay close attention, Gloria. You may learn something.
following scene from "The Taming of the Shrew," ACTORS
assume the following roles: JB as PETRUCHIO, BETSY as KATHERINE and
MAXWELL and GLORIA as the "door." JB crosses UPSTAGE as
BETSY/KATE is in a huff and marches through the door. MAXWELL and
GLORIA skreech every time PETRUCHIO or KATE move through the
"door." JB/PETRUCHIO follows KATE through the door and
"closes" it. Speaks as PETRUCHIO.)
Kate, for thats your name, I hear.
Well have you heard, but something hard of hearing: They call me
Katherine that do talk of me.
You lie, in faith! For you are calld plain Kate,
And bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the curst; But Kate, the prettiest
Kate in Christendom.
softens, liking what she hears. PETRUCHIO become bold and grabs her,
then tries to waltz with her across the STAGE.)
Kate of Kate
Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and
therefore, Kate, (Becomes
suddenly serious and drops down on one knee.)
Take this of me, Kate of my consolation
mildness praisd in every town,
spoke of, and thy beauty sounded,
Yet not so
deeply as to thee belongs,
movd to woo thee for my wife.
Movd! In good time! Let him that movd you hither remove
you hence. (Moves
to "door," "opens" it and begins to step through,
but PETRUCHIO stops her and pulls her away from the "door." Angry.)
I knew you at the first you were a moveable.
Why, whats a moveable?
Though hast hit it! (Gets
down on all fours.)
Come sit on me!
Asses are made to bear, and so are you. (Gives
his rump a push with her foot.)
Women are made to bear, and so are you.
No such jade as you, if me you mean.
Alas, good Kate, I will not burden thee! For knowing thee to be but
young and light
Too light for such a swain as you to catch, and yet as heavy as my
weight should be.
Should be! Shouldbuzz!
Well taken, and like a buzzard.
O, slow-winged turtle! Shall a buzzard take thee?
Ay, for a turtle, as he takes a buzzard.
Come, come, you wasp! In faith, you are too angry.
If I be waspish, best beware my sting.
My remedy is then to pluck it out.
Ay, if the fool could find it where it lies.
Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
In his tongue.
Yours, if you talk of tales, and so farewell. (Goes
to "open" door. MAXWELL and GLORIA open.)
What, with my tongue in your tail? Nay, come again, Good Kate; I am a gentleman
That Ill try. (Strikes
I swear Ill cuff you if you strike again.
So may you lose your arms. If you strike me, you are no gentleman!
And if no gentleman, why then no arms?
Speaking of arms... (He
and GLORIA drop their arms and shake them from exhaustion. PETRUCHIO
and KATHERINE are too busy to notice.)
A herald, Kate? O, put me in thy books!
What is your crest? A coxcomb?
A combless cock, so Kate will be my hen.
The Scene from
Taming a Shrew continues...
This is a sample from the actual script. To review the entire
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