Gee, if only I could get one of those. Just think, the very
(Walks in place.)
They really got some big buildings down here. Look at that
one. And some of the people. (Points
to kid in audience.)
Whew! Look at that one!
enters with TOY MONKEY. The MONKEY hops mechanically and plays
little cymbals. They address the audience.)
Hey, get your monkeys here! Toy monkeys! Wind 'em
up! Special deal! Get your wind-up monkeys here! (Sees
Hey there, little boy, wanna buy a monkey?
A monkey? No thanks.
from her side of stage over to NORMAN and claps her cymbals at him.)
Ain't she cute? Pretty good present, doncha think?
Pretty good. But not the best.
Not the best? Why, look at this monkey. He's battery
operated and everything. Show him your stuff, monkey.
turns her back and points to her back and indicates:
"See? battteries go here".)
No thanks. I'm really trying to find the very bestest present.
Look, kid, I wouldn't push it, but I got a bum knee. (Suddenly
falls, has to prop himself up on a bench, his "bum" knee
sticking out, stiff.)
See that... can't walk for nothin'. I need the money real
bad. It's not for me, you understand... it's for my...
mother... my poor... poor mother. If only my leg was good like
yours, I'd be able to get my poor, sick, dying mother a Christmas present.
Well... how much does your toy monkey cost?
How much you got?
surprised and indignant.)
Gee, okay. Here. (Gives
SHYSTER SAM the coins.)
How do I work this thing?
Just crank it up in back. (Tests
coins with his teeth.)
cranks MONKEY, it stands, then drops limp. NORMAN cranks again,
MONKEY drops again.)
Hey! You tricked me! This toy doesn't work anymore!
Hmmm. Batteries must be run down. Gotta buy your own
batteries, kid. Batteries not included.
This is a sample from the actual script. To review the entire
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